Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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