I met the friendliest cop last night
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
