Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
