I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
