Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
