is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I want her autograph on my taint
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
