your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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