he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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