Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize