I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
