If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
