well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
