I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She needs sedatives and a leash
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
