Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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