I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
