dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
