I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
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