no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
