Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
