Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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