People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I could fuck to npr.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
