We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's blow job season.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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