I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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