Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
