thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
it's like iHOP with fire
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
