It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
