we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Randomize
