I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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