"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
