you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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