five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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