Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
