plz talk dirty to me
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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