I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
