And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
