Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
