This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
