thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
