we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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