is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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