so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize