He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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