Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
