Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
