and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
