from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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