So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
