every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
