This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
