I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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