The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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