Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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