I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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