Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize