Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
