if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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