tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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