You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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